- To spice up missionary, you can add a vibrating cock ring to increase both partners' pleasure.
- You can also try using a butt plug in positions like doggy style and reverse cowgirl.
- During spooning sex, using a finger vibrator on the clitoris can increase wetness.
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If you're not using toys when you have sex, you're missing out. Of course, old-school sex can feel amazing on its own, but incorporating sex toys in the bedroom spices things up and takes pleasure up a notch.
Whether you're using a clitoral vibrator, a butt plug, or anything in between, sex toys bring on exciting new sensations and different types of orgasms. Toys can make the most basic positions feel new, and make your favorite positions feel even better.
Here are seven sex therapist-recommended positions that incorporate sex toys for maximum pleasure.
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1. Missionary
Before writing off missionary sex as too vanilla, try adding a toy. Here's how to do it:
1. The receiving partner lies flat on their back.
2. The penetrating partner gets on top, facing them, and enters.
"To take a missionary to the next level, add a vibrating cock ring. This added vibration feels amazing for both partners," says Melinda DeSeta, a sexologist and certified sex therapist at Insight Counseling Center.
On top of the new sensations, as an added bonus, cock rings may help the penetrating partner last longer before having an orgasm since it restricts blood flow.
Applying some lube can help you comfortably get the cock ring on. DeSeta says a cock ring should never hurt or make the penis discolored. These are signs that the cock ring is too small.
If the penetrating partner doesn't like wearing a cock ring, the receiving partner can still enjoy some added pleasure on their own. Either partner can take a vibrator of choice and use it on the clitoris, which can be super helpful since most vagina-owners need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, says Julia Simone Fogelson, a certified sex therapist in private practice.
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2. Reverse cowgirl
The reverse cowgirl position puts the receiving partner in control and gives the penetrating partner an amazing view from behind. Here's how to do it:
1. The penetrating partner lies flat on their back.
2. The receiving partner gets on top and straddles their partner in a kneeling position, facing away from them.
3. Once the penetrating partner is inside, the receiving partner can grind back and forth or bounce up and down.
To spice up reverse cowgirl, add some anal play into the mix. This position gives the penetrating partner easy access to their partner's butt, allowing them to insert a toy like a butt plug, taking advantage of the nerve endings in the anus that can bring on lots of pleasure, says DeSeta.
Unlike the vagina, the anus and rectum don't self-lubricate. For this reason, use plenty of lube, start out super slow, and stop if there's any pain, DeSeta says. Last but not least, only use toys in the butt that have a flared base to prevent them from getting lost inside of you.
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3. Cowgirl
The cowgirl sex position also allows for the top partner to take control of the depth and speed of penetration, plus room to add toys. Here's how to do it:
1. The penetrating partner lies flat on their back.
2. The receiving partner gets on top and straddles their partner, in a kneeling position facing forward.
3. Once the penetrating partner is inside, the receiving partner can grind back and forth or bounce up and down.
To increase pleasure for both partners, use a vibrating cock ring, says Courtney Padjen, a certified sex therapist and the owner and director of the Centre for Sexual Wellness.
In this position, the partner on top will get some clitoral stimulation from simply being on top and grinding, but using a vibrator on the clitoris can increase chances of orgasming — or you can even use the vibrator on the nipples, too, Padjen says.
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4. Doggy style
Doggy style is a classic rear entry position that allows for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation. Here's how to do it:
1. The receiving partner gets on all fours, on their hands and knees.
2. The penetrating partner gets behind them and kneels.
3. The penetrating partner enters.
While the position hits the G-spot, there's no clitoral stimulation here. To show the clitoris some love, DeSeta suggests that the penetrating partner reach around and use a vibrator on their partner's clitoris. A long, flexible vibrator is likely the easiest to use here.
Fogelson says on top of using a clitoral vibrator, you can use a butt plug for some pleasurable anal play to enhance the receiving partner's orgasm even further. Again, use a toy that has a flared base, go slow, and use a lot of lube.
The penetrating partner can either insert the plug during foreplay or while the receiver is on their hands and knees in the doggy style position, Fogelson says.
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5. Spooning
The cozy spooning sex position offers a lot of skin-to-skin contact and intimacy. Here's how to do it:
1. The penetrating partner lies down on their side, assuming the big spoon cuddling position.
2. The receiving partner also lies down on their side, facing away from their partner, in a little spoon position.
3. The penetrating partner enters from behind.
"The spooning sex position is great for vaginal penetration but not clitoral stimulation," Padjen says. Using sex toys as a supplement provides some attention to the clitoris, increasing the likelihood of orgasm.
Padjen says you can try a finger vibrator, for example, worn by either partner, depending on if the receiving partner enjoys an element of surprise or would prefer to be the one in control. Or, if the receiving partner likes the feeling of toys that use more of a suction sensation on the clitoris, you can use this instead of a typical vibrator. Since you need to hold these toys a little bit more precisely on the clitoris to maintain the suction, Padjen says these toys are best for spooning with slower deep thrusts.
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7. Pretzel dip
The pretzel dip is a fun sex position that sounds trickier than it is, allowing for a unique sideways angle of entry. Here's how to do it:
1. The receiving partner lies on their side, with the top leg lifted and open for penetration.
2. The penetrating partner kneels straddling the leg that's flat and enters.
3. The receiving partner wraps their top leg around their partner's waist for stability.
This is a great option if you want to try a position that's out of the norm. It almost has a rear-entry feel, but since you can face each other, it allows for more intimacy.
The clitoris might get some stimulation in this position to begin with –– but to kick it up a notch, DeSeta suggests adding an easy-to-use lay-on clitoral vibrator that you can simply leave placed on the region, or one partner can help hold it in place.
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7. Cunnilingus with a toy
Whether oral sex is foreplay or the main event, you can incorporate toys here as well. Here's how to do it:
1. The receiver gets in a position where the giver can easily access the genitals with their mouth –– such as lying flat with legs spread.
2. Using their lips and tongue, the giver stimulates their partner's genitals.
While oral sex in and of itself can feel amazing, there's no reason you can't make it even better by using a toy.
For a unique mix of sensations, Fogelson says the giver can insert a dildo or another penetrative device into their partner's vagina while continuing to use their mouth on the external genitalia. This allows the receiver to experience a feeling of fullness that they wouldn't get with oral alone.
Best sex toys
If you're looking for new toys to accompany the fresh variations on the above sex positions, our guides to the best vibrators, best sex toys for couples, and the overall best sex toys provide a variety of well-vetted options for a range of desires.
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Insider's takeaway
Having some sex toys handy in your bedroom can level up your sex life, adding novelty and increasing your chances of having an orgasm.
When using toys in bed, Fogelson recommends keeping the line of communication open –– checking in with your partner to make sure the toy feels great and isn't causing any discomfort. If one particular toy or type of toy doesn't work for you, there's no shortage of others to try.
Experiment with different positions, toys, and combinations of positions and toys to experience the utmost pleasure.
Ashley Laderer
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