Tamada 34; Ronaldo 45, 80, Juninho 53, Gilberto 59
Mike Adamson
Thursday June 22, 2006
A bowl of ramen. But who's the guy with the chopsticks?
Teams
Japan Kawaguchi, Santos, Tsuboi, Kaji, Nakazawa,
Hidetoshi Nakata, Ogasawara, Nakamura, Inamoto, Maki, Tamada.
Subs Doi, Endo, Fukunishi, Komano, Moniwa, Koji Nakata,
Narazaki, Oguro, Ono, Takahara, Yanagisawa.
Brazil Dida, Lucio, Juan, Cicinho, Gilberto, Kaka, Ronaldinho, Silva, Juninho, Ronaldo, Robinho.
Subs Adriano, Cafu, Carlos, Cris, Emerson, Fred, Julio Cesar, Luisao, Mineiro, Ricardinho, Rogerio, Ze Roberto.
Referee Eric Poulat (France)
Some interesting news here. Carlos Alberto Parreira has made five changes to his team, omitting veterans Cafu, Roberto Carlos, Ze Roberto, Emerson and Adriano, whose ages total about 432 years. Cicinho, Silva, Gilberto and Juninho get a chance to shine, while Robinho joins Ronaldo McDonaldo up front.
Where we standI'll be as brief as I can, and not patronise you like Motty usually does by suggesting that you might want to have an abacus or calculator by your side as we work through the not-too-complicated permutations:
Brazil will win the group and set up a clash with Ghana if they get at least a draw tonight.
Japan need to win, and win big, and hope that Australia don't beat Croatia.
If Japan don't win, Australia will qualify if they can manage at least a draw against Croatia, while Croatia will qualify if they stick it to the Sheilaroos.
Here come the playersAnd an email. "Mike, I'm tired of writing fascinating emails to you fruit salad heads, not you - the other fruit salad heads - and not getting not so much as a passing acknowledgement of my existence," says Jim Court. "So this time I WANT you to please just ignore me. That way there's no need for me to provide any content, and also I'll have the satisfaction of knowing my instructions have been followed to the letter by a representative of one of the world's great newspapers; the Tring Guardian isn't it?" I'm afraid I can't do that, Jim.
Will Ronaldinho actually have any impact today?Well?
A query"Mike, on the footballunlimited homepage next to Japan Brazil - LIVE, why is there a picture of a clown who got a little carried away with colouring in his nose?" asks Garrath Douglas, leaving me stumped. Anyone?
PredictionDer Kaiser, GU's resident betting expert, is ignoring me today, so I'll have to do this part myself. I'll go for 3-1, with Brazil showing a darn sight more dynamism and invention than they have so far thanks to these changes.
1 minHere we go then. Not only have the Japanese stolen a Brazilian coach, they've also nicked their blue shorts too. The poor Brazilians are having to wear unusual white pairs as a result.
2 minsNothing's happening here, but Croatia have taken the lead against the Socceroos. Are the Aussies' hopes going to turn to ashes? (Sorry, couldn't resist)
3 minsIt's been an assertive start from the Japanese. Every time they go forward they're cheered on by their high-pitched fans - who are creating the sort of atmosphere you used to get at Wembley schoolboy internationals.
5 mins"Re. Garrath Douglas' question about clowns," begins Martin Burley. "Maybe it's to enhance the fertility of football fans? Clowns make people more fertile, as any fool doth know (http://tinyurl.com/zgsvk)."
6 minsGreat stuff from the two Ronnies. Ronaldo received Ronaldinho's short pass, turned, produced his trademark stepover before firing off a shot which Kawaguchi turned behind. The chubby lad's not lost it, on that evidence.
8 minsKaka drifts in from the left, skips past Inamoto's half-hearted challenge, but curls his shot over the bar.
10 mins"I don't see how Japan can qualify," says Nikolaj, who maybe does need a calculator by his side. "They can get max 4 points. If Croa-Aus is a draw Australia has 5 point and any winner of that match goes through." Australia have three points currently. A draw is worth one point. Three plus one equals four. Croatia can get maximum four points. Thus Japan can qualify.
11 minsKawaguchi makes another good save - he's been really impressive in this tournament, his abberation for Tim Cahill's first goal excluded. Juninho was the man who had the effort.
13 minsJuninho is looking sharp early on. Here he wins a free-kick about 35 yards out. Thankfully Roberto Carlos isn't playing, so the best free-kick taker in the world (Juninho, that is) is given free rein at this...
14 minsObviously after that build-up, he was only going to ever blast it into Row ZZ. Oh dear.
15 minsDida is troubled for the first time, though admittedly this only involves retrieving the ball from the ball-boy, placing it in the six-yard box, and punting it upfield. Still, Inamoto's wayward shot was at least a sign of intent.
16 minsBrilliant play from Robinho, demonstrating why many people think he should be in the team ahead of either Adriano or Ronaldo. Shimmying this way and that he beats two men, before forcing Kawaguchi to tip his shot over the bar.
17 mins"This isn't fair. I don't like to eat while a match is on - and it IS lunch time over here. That ramen shot is just making my hunger
unbearable. Thanks for nothing!" says Eduard Smit, clearly unaware that I have a beef madras sitting in front of me which I can smell but not touch until half-time because I have to keep you people informed of what's going on. So stop your moaning.
19 minsOk, so we're not even a quarter of the way through the game, but Ronaldinho has contributed nothing to Brazil's cause. In the space of 20 seconds he gives the ball away carelessly twice.
20 minsAnother tremendous save by Kawaguchi! Ronaldo created half a yard of space by shifting the ball to the right, then tried to bend his shot around the keeper - but somehow the excitable Portsmouth reject pushed it past the post.
21 mins"How was the term 'sheilaroos' decided? Apart from the whole clever combo of 'sheila' and 'socceroos'... is there any other deep or hidden meaning to the moniker?" asks Adeline Tan, giving the GU staff far too much credit for the depth of their thinking.
22 minsI'm afraid I can't explain to you how well Kawaguchi is playing. The best I can do is reflect his performance in the number of exclamation marks I put at the end of this sentence once I've told you that he's just made the most magnificent save from Juninho's long-range hit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
24 minsLovely play from Japan's right-sided players almost leads to Gilberto turning Kaji's slid cross into his own net. He watches on in agony as the ball trickles past the post.
25 minsThe regularity of updates actually referring to the football should indicate how eventful this match is. Brazil's first two games might have been a disappointment, but this has been anything but so far.
26 mins"It seems to me," says Chris Wright, "that Japan can qualify if and only if the first born son of Brazilian playmaker Kaka spits up on an Abba album that someone carelessly left on the living room floor at the precise moment that Uranus moves into Aquarius, but only if it does so during a simultaneously occurring solar eclipse and a re-run of On The Buses. Or are my calculations off." They might just be, Chris. They might just be.
27 minsUp for a corner, Lucio does his best Paulo Wanchope impression, somehow looking incredibly uncoordinated yet threatening at the same time. Sadly for Brazil, the former characteristic wins, with the big centre-half simply toppling over as he loses control.
30 mins"Who's the guy with the chopsticks?" says Richard Hooker as the game finally settles down, leaving me nothing to write about. "A very puzzling question, that! The face on the left vaguely resembles Kevin Costner, but the arm holding the chopsticks is coming in from a strange angle - it must belong to someone else? My first impression is that the arm belongs to Thomas Galasek, but I don't know that he has the nurturing skills to feed Kevin Costner a bowl of ramen noodles using just chopsticks. You've got me stumped."
32 minsIn addition to eating the standard dozen pies between matches, I think Ronaldo's also been scoffing his Weetabix since last Sunday, because he looks good tonight. Well, on the ball at any rate. Again he turns sharply, but again Kawaguchi is there to deny him.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAL! Japan 1 - 0 Brazil (Tamada 34)What a story this is! A clever little throughball from Alex - who is, of course, a Brazilian - finds Tamada in space in the box. He swivels and fires a shot with his left foot first-time into the roof of the net. The Japanese still have a chance of qualifying, though they need at least another goal.
36 minsRonaldo scampers onto Juninho's incisive pass, but knocks his touch too far around the keeper. Rather than shoot into the empty net he has to look back and lay the ball off to Ronaldinho, but his shot is typical of his performances in the group stages. A big letdown.
38 minsAustralia have equalised, taking them into second place in the group. This doesn't change matters greatly for the Japanese though.
39 minsMaki races through the centre, but is pulled back for offside. It was a very tight call. Brazil's defence is all over the place.
40 mins"I think you will find the head is of one-time landlord of the Queen Vic, the late Eddie Royal, and the arm most definitely belongs to Cuddly Pat Butcher," says Ben Fitzpatrick, somewhat mysteriously. Though possibly accurately.
42 minsAnyone remember that goal Ronaldinho scored at the Nou Camp against Milan with his left foot a couple of seasons ago? He manoeuvred himself into exactly the same shooting opportunity just now, but elected to pass instead. Has the great man lost some of his confidence over the last couple of weeks?
43 mins"Oh look, Japan have scored," says Ben Hammond, helpfully keeping me up-to-date with proceedings. "Is there any alignment of Jupiter and Abba which can mean Brazil don't qualify?" Sadly not, though this would be arguably the biggest World Cup embarrassment since Scotland last qualified.
44 minsBooking for Gilberto, who is not to be confused with Arsenal's Gilberto Silva. Twas a bodycheck on Maki, nothing more, nothing less. From the resultant free-kick, Maki puts too much of his hair on his flick-header, the ball consequently going over the bar. If only these Japanese players followed their pop image a bit less, that might've been a second goal.
GOAL! Japan 1 - 1 Brazil (Ronaldo 45)It was too good to last, I suppose. Ronaldinho picked out Cicinho at the far post, he looped a perfect header back towards Ronaldo, who had the simple task of nodding past Kawaguchi from six yards. Which he did. That means he is now Brazil's record goalscorer at the World Cup.
Half timeRonaldo's header is the last touch of the first half. And what a great half of football that was. Brazil are playing at a quicker tempo than they have previously, Ronaldo has looked slightly less sluggish (and scored), Juninho has given them a bit of spark in midfield, but they are still a shambles defensively. Japan, meanwhile, have been terrific. I'm already looking forward to the second half, but now I have 15 minutes to eat my curry.
Emails to keep you occupied during the interval"Fantasy football officially spoils enjoyment of the beautiful game," says Sam Hedges. "I've been a keen FF player for years and once again Ronaldo featured in my starting 11. After two useless, podgy games I dropped him for the unfortunately named David Villa.
So what does Ronaldo do? Start playing well! Does this mean he's going to go on and win the golden boot?" Yes, Sam, but only because I ditched him from my team also.
"Why, I think its George Walker Bush eating those noodles," says David Gosse. "He must be practicing eating Japanese food in advance of a meeting since his father puked on the Japanese Prime Minister at dinner all those years ago."
"Hey Mike, if my calculations are correct, Jupiter and Abba could still align," says Sean. "If Brazil loses to Japan, and Australia beats Croatia, the ninjas and soccerroos are through, and the yellow-and-green go home. What a shocker!" Well, it would be a shocker, Sean, if your calculations weren't so shocking themselves. Brazil already have six points, which means that Australia (on three points) are currently the only team that can overhaul them. Japan and Croatia both just have one point. Get it together, folks.
"Im an Englishman in New York and good curry is hard to find here, so please stop taunting me," says Tom, who understandably has never been to the GU canteen. "Thinking of curry just makes me miss England more!"
"Tamada actually means 'Damn!' or 'blast!' in Chinese, which I am sure was uttered on the Brazilian bench just a few moments after the goal," writes linguistic expert Mark Lumley. "Also
along with 1.3 billion Chinese who seem to have somewhat of a problem with Japan being Asian champions."
"Has the great man lost some of his confidence over the last couple of weeks?" asks Robert Davidson sarcastically. "Yeah, winning the Champions League and the Liga title will do that
to you." Maybe not, but playing poorly in the opening two games of a World Cup you were meant to be the star of might. Like you, I'm sure he'll prove his class before long.
"My six year-old daughter Sabina is here with me and cheering for Japan, because all her favourite cartoon characters come from there," say John and Sabina. "We expect them to come on like Kamikazes, while their guys on the bench stick pins into voodoo dolls of the Australian players. Go Japan!"
"If it were even possible, I'd say the white shorts make Ronaldo look even fatter," says Scott Bassett.
"I am reading your commentary to find out who will be Italy's opponent on Monday," says John from Rome, which he helpfully points out is in Italy. "However I am slighly destracted by my two female roommates have complain about swollen feet after a day shopping in a hot and sweaty Rome. What shall I do. Footmassage is out of the question. Any tips from other readers perhaps?"
46 minsAnd we're off again. And I've eaten precisely two mouthfuls of rice. Darn you and your blasted emails.
48 minsHow it stands:
Brazil 7 points +3 GD
Australia 4 points 0 GD
Croatia 2 points -1 GD
Japan 2 points -2 GD
50 minsRonaldinho wastes a chance to flight a free-kick into the penalty area, hitting the first Japanese defender instead.
51 minsRonaldinho passes to Ronaldo, Ronaldo passes to Ronaldinho, Ronaldinho passes to Ronaldo, Ronaldo passes to the advertising hoarding. That would have been a quite beautiful goal, but unfortunately Ronaldo's placed finish went 24 centimetres wide - yes, I did count them.
GOAL! Japan 1 - 2 Brazil (Juninho 53)As against Australia, Kawaguchi's performance drops from the sublime to the ridiculous. Juninho hits a fairly powerful shot from 25 yards just to the right of the keeper, which he flaps his hands at as if he was trying to put out a fire with a cloth. Sadly he got nowhere near it, and now looks more dejected than me when I had to put my curry in the fridge.
55 minsZico has responded to the goal by making a substitution: Koji Nakata, who is no relation to Hidetoshi Nakata, nor any of the other players for that matter, on; Ogasawara off.
57 minsCompeting for worst howler of the night with Kawaguchi, the Aussie keeper has just gifted Croatia the lead. They jump into second place in the group again. Japan are rock bottom, I'm afraid.
GOAL! Japan 1 - 3 Brazil (Gilberto 59)Doing what Roberto Carlos fails to do virtually every time he puts on a yellow shirt, replacement Gilberto races into the box and onto Ronaldinho's perfectly-weighted pass before drilling a shot past Kawaguchi into the bottom corner.
62 minsAs he tends to do, Zico has responded to Brazil's latest goal by making a substitution. Maki off, Takahara on.
63 mins"I imagine I will not be the first to suggest 'Fattigol' for tomorrow's Ronaldo-related headline," says Adam Aldridge, who actually is the first. Thanks, Adam - I'll use that in the podcast tonight.
64 minsKawaguchi returns to his form of the first half, first palming Robinho's effort behind for a corner, then fisting away Juninho's 25-yarder.
67 minsThe "oles" are sounding out from the Brazilian fans now. And not just for the ladies in the bikinis neither. For the first time in the tournament, these gifted players are showing off their flicks and tricks for the crowd.
68 minsWonderful play from Robinho, dropping his shoulder at break-neck speed to glide by two Japanese players. Sadly, like the defenders, Ronaldo couldn't keep pace with the youngster, so was unable to reach Robinho's short pass which would have given him an open goal.
69 mins"Quick question, who even took that picture, and for what possible purpose?" asks Brian Degen. A question we may never know the answer to, Brian. Possibly they just knew it would be required for a MBM one day.
71 minsParreira has made two substitutions: Ronaldinho and Kaka off; Ricardinho and Ze Roberto on. That leaves just Ronaldo of the Magic Quartet, though I suppose if one of them needs game-time, it's the podgy one.
72 mins"Please tell our man in Rome that when my wife comes in complaining of swollen feet I find it helps immensely to nip out to the pub for three hours. I imagine Ronaldo already knows this technique," says Shane extremely helpfully indeed.
75 minsWith the result in the bag, the tempo has fallen to Ronaldo's pace, I'm sorry to say.
76 mins"A quick question," begins Howard Davies. "Granted Ronaldo does look a bit heavy but compared to what? Is he expected to look steroid sculpted? Perhaps this is his natural body condition and in this day and age of chemically induced physiques what on earth is wrong with that?" That's actually two quick questions and one fairly lengthy one, but your point is a good one, Howard. We're all very childish indeed.
78 minsNot that my attention is drifting from this game or anything, but Australia have equalised for a second time against Croatia. They are now on course to join Brazil in the second round. But that's not an excuse for you all to leave me and follow Scott Murray's MBM instead.
GOAL! Japan 1 - 4 Brazil (Ronaldo 80)Absolutely brilliant from the big fella. Ronaldo played a quick one-two with Juan, then turned and, without even looking up, thumped a right-footed shot from 20 yards into the bottom corner. He's back, y'know.
82 minsParreira has taken his keeper off even though he's not injured and thrown on Rogerio Ceni instead. This is a goalie who likes to take all his team's set-pieces so it would be interesting if Brazil are awarded a penalty - would Ceni or Ronaldo step up?
84 minsNakamura, Celtic's crafty playmaker, curls a dipping left-footed free-kick over the wall but just the wrong side of the post.
86 mins"So, IS GHANA GONNA MAKE IT????" asks Roberto, having clearly pressed Caps Lock by mistake without any idea how to undo this action. I don't think so, Roberto, but it's going to be one heck of a match. I think Ghana will score against this defence, but Brazil's galacticos will step up when they have to.
88 minsThis has been much more entertaining fare from Brazil. They've improved, albeit slowly, with every game they've played. It's going to take a very good side playing very well to beat them. Particularly with their big-boned striker relocating his goalscoring boots.
90 minsThere will be three minutes of injury time. Koji Nakata forces Ceni into a save, but let's be honest, we're all much more interested in whether Australia are going to hold off Croatia, aren't we?
Full timePeep! Peep! Peeeeeeeeeep! The referee brings a very watchable game to a close. That was certainly the best Brazil have played so far, though they'll have to improve further if they're to defeat Ghana. It will be interesting to see which of the replacements used today will keep their place for Monday's second-round match. Thanks for all your emails, Mike.
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